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Andu & Bandu: Tale of Two Naughtys

All characters in this story may appear to be fictitious. 
Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead, or missing could be surprisingly coincidental.
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Virar station, 7pm, Andu (pronounced as UNDO) and Bandu (as BUNDO) were waiting for some other friends to arrive. They all were to go for a picnic near Arnala beach.

Amidst the entire crowd, a not-so-beautiful-but-fair girl passed by. Andu, a guy with short stature craned his neck to get her glimpse and then turned to Bandu to check if he saw his act. Bandu too, taking advantage of his height, had taken darshan of that beauty. And they both smiled, rather laughed at each other.

“Men will be men,” roared Bandu and they burst out into a thunderous laughter again. Andu and Bandu both are 30 something shaadi-shuda guys, not to each other ofcourse – happily married, not gay-ly.

Like the scene at the Virar station, there are many coincidences of them liking the same thing. Bandu joined some classes in XII, so did Andu. Bandu and Andu, both, even today, have same model of mobile phones – E71, same model of laptops – IBM R52, and had same model of their earlier mobile phones – Nokia 6630.

Let’s roll back to their college days and take a glimpse into some of their finest moments, there are many but we will restrict to just a few.

Andu and Bandu met at the junior college and since then went on to become fast friends, who have enjoyed joyous rides of life since their college days.


Nothing superficial about it. They are pakke friends to the extent that “wo jaan de bhi sakte hai and le bhi sakte hain – ek dusre ki”errghhh.

Life at college continued and it was there, where the coincidences of their likeness took roots. They both fell for the same girl, whom they fondly called 442.

Andu was prompt in falling in love but was little introvert and mostly shied away from mixing with girls. He used to be content with his small group of friends. He mostly rejoiced with the thoughts that finally cupid has struck his heart.

Bandu, on the other hand, was usually hyper excited about things, outgoing, and the six footer frequently found presence and place among the then chick tarunis. He did lot of majja in college :-)

One day while walking back to Andheri station, he narrated to Andu how he would love to propose 442 and that he would go running after her bus (BEST route no. 442 and hence her name) just to have a glance at her. She indeed was so very beautiful, a Muslim girl, whose beauty radiated even from within the burkha, which she wore often to college.

They kept dreaming about her, admiring her, and making sure that they did not miss a single chance to gaze at that beauty. She was the topic of their discussion most of the times, no arguments or fights happened between them because of her, however.

This is not a love tale alone.

Days kept passing by, and Andu & Bandu were fully aware that they needed to take stake of their future and career as well. More than 442 and other figures around the college they also needed to worry about the figure on their mark sheet, they needed to excel the 442 mark and achieve at least 480 to get a respectable 80% in the HSC exams.

Having studied hard for the HSC exams, and then waiting for the results, Andu and Bandu sat together one day to decided on their next course of action – engineering?, B.Sc.?, Pharmacy? etc...
Among the most incidents that took place in Andu’s and Bandu’s life, here is the most hilarious one, probably the only one.

Amidst all the career options that Andu and Bandu were experimenting with, Bandu once came across a career in Navy; naah not the armed forces one. It was marine engineering. 

“They get lot of salary and other benefits, I have heard,” said Andu.
Well, at that time, career, passion where just few words whose depth they couldn’t fathom. ‘EARN MONEY, BE SUCCESSFUL’ was the only mantra, then no matter what you did.

Bandu used to visit Andu’s place frequently to play cricket. That evening, Bandu brought the newspaper cutting of that ‘Marine Engineering Ad’.

“Arey, tichya aila, ya sathi tar IIT-JEE dyavi lagnaar,” Andu burst out in a dismal cry when he read the eligibility criteria for getting into marine engineering. IIT entrance was the most dreaded exam considered at that time. They weren’t much aware of the CAT for IIMs.

“Let us do it, at least let us give it a try. Karna hai toh karna hai,” Bandu tried to instill some confidence in Andu.

“Yes, but it requires lot of study and studying in this vacation time again Damn!” Andu sighed.

“Salya…your papers were good, you are going to get good score, your engineering seat is pakka. What about me?” Bandu frowned on Andu.

“Oh, come on, I know how my papers were”

“You are a scholar. You always do well in exams”

“Gupp re. I don’t want to argue. We will get the forms tomorrow”

They got the form, completed it and submitted it.

“This is kind of strange. They want us to go on ship but want us to clear IIT-JEE”, Andu grinned at Bandu when they were returning from a library one day. They got some books to study.

Studies began for GREAT IIT-JEE, all for just to be on the ship for 6 months long, hopefully. 2 months of study to appear for that Herculean entrance exam, Andu and Bandu were all set to embarrass the clan who was studying hard for IIT since 2 years or even more. They were not sure that they had in them, but some sort of confidence was certainly there.
   
They struggled a lot understanding the dynamics of the entrance exam and trying to getting used to the question paper patterns, answering tricky questions, laws of intelligent guessing, and parroting formulae.

Finally, the day arrived when they were to make the GRAND entry into the examination hall. Their center was in Malad. Andu and Bandu had exam seat numbers just one behind the other, as they had submitted the entrance exam forms simultaneously.

The competition was fierce. There was tremendous crowd outside the examination center. Andu and Bandu were aghast – ‘we have to excel so many of them…phew’. The scene almost looked like an ‘about-to-begin-stampede’.
Both young men, finally could locate the floor and room numbers, and bravely made their way to the ‘battlefield’ like classroom. As they stepped into the classroom, they could virtually hear blowing of the tutari, just like what Baji Prabhu must have heard when conquering some fort.

Like the great warriors, Tipu and Tughlaq, Andu and Bandu entered the examination hall with all the dreams that they must make it, as, if successful the life ahead could turn into a fortune.
“Aai Bhavani chya aashirwadane”, Andu and Bandu occupied their seats and their marathon to success began. The exam hall was packed. With sweating hands, trembling legs, and smiling faces, Andu and Bandu occupied their respective desk.
 
Two papers were scheduled on the first day, it was a Saturday. Screening test and Physics. The other papers (Physics, Chemistry, and Mathematics) were checked only if you cleared the screening test paper. Tired and excited, the warrior duo, walked out of the classroom, and headed straight to the washroom.
They took next immediate train back home. They wished each other “best of luck” for studies of next paper, winked at each other and left.

On reaching home, Andu's mother showered questions of curiosity on him, "How was it? How many question did you solve? Kashi hoti mag I-I-T".

Andu remained standing near the door silently and sighed, "Aai Aai Tea".

As agreed, Andu and Bandu met at Malad station and started walking towards their examination center. It was Sunday, the day of Mathematics and Chemistry.

“My Maama stays here in Malad. He has called us for lunch today,” Bandu said while resting his hand on Andu’s left shoulder.

“Arey but how. We will not find so much time,” Andu shrilled.

“See we have a break of 90 minutes between two papers, we can easily accommodate the lunch. And it’s better than spending money outside.”

Andu agreed. And indeed that time money was a major problem.

Bandu started singing some song while still walking towards the examination center, it was all extemporized; Bandu kept adding some words that came to his lips.

Mi gacchi var jaaun basaycho
Sobatila majhya, priya mitra Bandu
Baki mitra sagle, ground var jaayche
Amhi khelat gotya, viti dandu
Tey sagle chaukar, shatkaar hanayche
Mala hi havet, pandhre shubhra pad
S.G. chi bat, and laal season cha ball
Asa manatun khup khup vatayche
Punn kay karnar,
Kaaran, kharach tevha itke paise nasayche

Andu also made up some words and added another stanza to Bandu’s on-the-spot performance – such great was their friendship, easily readable minds.

Madhlya suttit sagle hotel madhe jaat
Apla matra tapri varach bhagaycha
Tyanche uttappa, dosa, juice che thaat
Batata sandwich var sollid pott bharaycha
Anna cha dosa, Baban cha vada, paar ved lavayche
Pun divsache fakt char ach rupaye milayche
Sandwich cha alach jar kantala kadhi
Tar change mhanun usachya rasa var bhagvayche
Punn kay karnar,
Kaaran, kharach tevha itke paise nasayche

And then they sang in chorus, each adding one line at a time and reciting it together...

Sandhya kali ghari jatan tar jaam gochi
Kovlya vayat local la itki gardi pahun
Paar oli houn jaychi chaddi
Train mage train sodun, mi titech tasan taas
Laal patya vale dabbe rikami asayche
Hirvya patte valyat chadlo, tar “utar bhadvya”
Ase sagle lok oradayche, mag kay
Ghari pochayla, local chya bari var lombkalayche
Kay karnar,
Kaaran, kharach tevha itke paise nasayche

College madhye asa khup vataycha
Dyava tila, ek chaan sa laal gulab
Ani Rose day chya divshi pahava
Tila ghetana Rose Queen cha khitaab
Pun titkyat Andheri station yaycha
‘Chal ata vedya’ asa mhanun
Majhach mann majhya var hasayche
Gulab kay, pakli tari de, ase chidvayche
Tey pun kharach ahey mhana,
Kaaran, kharach tevha itke paise nasayche

They kept singing their ‘just-baked’ song till they reached their center.
Mathematics paper was over. They both walked out grinning and smiling at each other. Their 2 months of study was put through a thorough test. Today wasn’t any different than the yesterday.

Andu and Bandu walked down to Bandu’s Maama’s place. The house was filled with fresh aroma of delicious Marathi pakkvaane. They both guzzled down 2 glasses of water each. The examination was in the month of May, the scorching summer of Mumbai had dehydrated two teenagers.

As they had to hurry back to the center for their next paper, food was served immediately. They sat talking about the future prospects, career options with the family over the lunch. The ‘swaadishtt jevan’ was amazingly mouthwatering and the best part was the ‘amrakhand’ – the mango season was just fresh.
   
With heavily packed tummies, Andu and Bandu set their journey back to the center. Andu was already drowsy as if he had bottomed down gallons of beer. Andu was used to sleeping for 2-3 hours in the afternoon and it was very much impossible for him to keep his eyes wide open. He walked down the street as if almost asleep. Thanks to Bandu, that he was there to maneuver Andu safely to the examination center.
Answer sheets were distributed. Then came the ‘Chemistry’ question paper. And ‘Oh My God’, there was not a single thing Andu or Bandu could understand in that paper except the instructions on the topic and the paper details. They questioned their parents and God about bring them to earth - for this torturous day? The questions were all full of ‘O’, ‘C’, and ‘H’ with single or double lines connecting the alphabets forming structures like hexagons, squares, rectangles, circles, and alike.

Bandu looked at Andu, Andu looked at the invigilator, and invigilator looked at the watch and other examinees. Bandu nodded his head signaling to Andu that he was helpless. Andu conveyed the same to Bandu.

Bandu sat on the bench with his hands folded, while Andu cupped his face into his palms gazing at the question paper. Such was their state – fearless but pitiable; not that they self pitied or were sympathetic to each other.
   
Andu copied all the questions 'as-is' in the answer sheet, just maybe to shirk that embarrassment of handing over a blank answer sheet to the invigilator.

Instructions made it mandatory for them to sit in the exam hall at least for 45 minutes. They both waited for the clock to tick the 45th minute. Just about when it happened, Andu and Bandu jumped off from their desks, handed over the answer sheets and ran out of the exam hall. They came out with thunders of laughter and miming each other’s state.

They reached home and enjoyed a game of cricket.

Life continued for days, as if IIT-JEE had never happened to Andu and Bandu, until one day, Bandu’s cousin, who also had appeared for IIT-JEE reminded them of the "results day". It was quite obvious what the result was going to be like, for the answer sheets could have well been portrayed as antiques in the museums of the elite Indian Institute of Technology.

However, their heroics in the papers were long forgotten. And the great Tipu and Tughlaq were all set to march towards the prestigious IIT-Bombay to take a look at their fate. The bus ride in 398 Ltd. through the lush green Aarey Colony was refreshing and joyous.
Evidently, Andu and Bandu did not figure in the results list, not even at the bottomest of the bottom. But their confidence was rock solid, they were least bothered the saying – “as you sow, so shall you reap” and they disagreed to believe that miracles only happened to aliens.

Despite knowing that there was no chance they could have passed, the duo took a deep look the list, and then wiggled out of the crowd, laughing thunderously as usual, proclaiming – ‘Nirlajjam sada sukhi’.

Just like once they had said for their beloved 442, ‘ye nahi toh koi aur sahi’, they shrugged a similar attitude at the IIT. They didn’t bother if the gates of IIT and that of the naval base were closed for them. It was all about attitude for them.

They marched ahead bravely, taking up whatever came their way. They decided to navigate on the walks of the life as presented to them and be patient. Andu & Bandu followed only one rule - success, fame, power, and money are the outputs of dedication, hardwork, and tenacity. They made this as a rule of their life.
While life gave them a lot of twists and turns, their ways parted, however, one thing that was always constant and rigid that they remained pakke dosts – and that was without doubt. With time their friendship only took deep roots, though frustrations of their unfulfilled fascinations did take some spurts.
They have busy lives today, excellent career paths, loving wife (respective of course), caring family (respective again), and their tenacity for pursue their passions – Andu with his writing and Bandu with his photography.

Just recently, some three great men had said, ‘Aaal Izzz Well’, and indeed it is with these two great men as well. They had said the same thing almost 15 years ago. They might have looked liked idiots, stupid, and dumb fellas standing at the gates of the IIT but in life today, they are proven ‘the damn jolly good fellas’.
--------------- THE END ---------------

Comments

Anonymous said…
Hilariously nostalgic...eagerly waiting for other parts.

What's the end?
Anonymous said…
"More than 442 and other figures around the college they also needed to worry about the figure on their mark sheet, they needed to excel the 442 mark and achieve at least 480 to get a respectable 80% in the HSC exams"

What a wild imagination and use of words; simply brilliant.
Anonymous said…
You are narrating a story of two guys and something related to their education and career. Would not 2 Idiots had been a nice title for this story?
What do you think?
Rakesh Kumar said…
Cant wait to read the rest of the story. When will you update it.
Cheryl said…
Why are medicine, engineering, pharmacy, B.Sc. the only career options available to you guys? Ain't you making the society sound too stereotyped?

Why don't we rather concentrate our efforts and writing on solutions than just the mockery of education?

Waiting for rest of the story though

Thanks
Cheryl
Anonymous said…
When is the second part releasing....waitingggggggggggggg... :-)
Anonymous said…
may b u should try changing your style...u knw try make it to move faster...waiting 4 ur nxt part....pace it up....consider this as an advice from a professional
Anonymous said…
No Comments...........
Nikhil Kulkarni said…
Arre Amol,

make it into a full fledged novel.. dont cut the story out so early..

I was so into both the characters, that I would like to know what happened next with them..

not an adventure or smthing, but some thing very real..

cause both the characters are very real!!
Pratap Ponkshe said…
Did not get the logic of this title - "The Quick Gun & The Short Gun".

Can't it be something better and more relevant?
Batul said…
I knew tis story was about you and your frnd... whats ur frnds name... BTW, the superimposed pic does make you look funny... 'Kya Bolta Tu'

Batul :)
Amol Redij said…
Hi All,

Thank you for your enormous response (by way of emails, sms, and phone calls) and your the some of the comments posted here. Appreciate it, really feels enthused.

@Anonymous: Did not choose the title "2 Idiots" in particular as it would have sounded cliched :-)

@Cheryl: Surely we must do something about the stereotyped education issue. However, I have seen significant changes happening. Things aren't the same as they were 15 years back. There are multiple career options available, and many are thinking beyond just engineering and medical.

@Anonymous: will keep your advice in mind and will work on it. Thanks for your suggestions.

@Nikhil Kulkarni: Currently working on publishing a book of my poems and finishing final draft of my next novel. Thanks for your input, will begin the outline for making this into a novel after I wash off my hands with the current ongoing tasks.

Cheers.
Amol Redij said…
@Pratap: Yes may be, the title is not that appealing. Can you suggest something?

Others please help as well :-)

Cheers,
Amol
Amol Redij said…
@Batul: "Kya mein bolu". Yes, I did work significantly on merging the two photographs, changing the background, giving some effects, and making them look funny, of course.

Cheers,
Amol
Anonymous said…
Somewhere I had a feeling that this story will be about you only :-P
Anonymous said…
Dude, release next episode about the mysterious Muslim girl - 442. What all you did to patao her, where is she now, how did both you guys manage never to fight for her, there wasn't a love triangle???
Aniket said…
Pictures have made this post really very interesting.

Ani
Anonymous said…
Sorry but i did not enjoy as it was so predictable, maybe because i know you so well.I know u can come up with something better than this, don't waste time writing abt such things which take up lot of efforts but are not deserving.
Anonymous said…
Loved this post.
Anonymous said…
In the last photograph who is Andu and who is Bandu. The one in red checks shirt is cute.
Anonymous said…
Very comical and interesting story. I was sure this was your real life story. Very well written
Anonymous said…
Amol, you have a good style of writing, humour with gripping language. You are good at building up an environment around the plot. However, for this post, I think it could have been much much better. You had set high expectations about your writing but this one did not reach those expectations, the quality could have been better.

Your earlier stories, "Alladin Chirag", and "Doll Story" was amazing, had good depth, meaning and a message in it. May be because those were pure fictions and had lot of imagination in it. This is not the case with this story, may be because it is based on real life facts.

Concentrate on quality topics and articles that have some meaning and depth to it, make your writing more intense.

Tx
Anonymous said…
Andu and Bandu, what an amazing story, and what nice character names.
Anonymous said…
Good stuff
Anonymous said…
A very nicely arranged chronological story about the two characters. Levels of curiosity properly maintened.
Anonymous said…
Hope you reach many many levels of success...and no one, no one can UNDO it ever.

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