Shikha called me up today, at 12.30 post midnight. She was sounding tensed. I knew that she was not happy with her marriage getting fixed with some guy. She pretended to sound normal but I could sense her worries. I asked her about the marriage preparations. She answered most of my questions with ‘hmmm’, ‘ya’, ‘ok’, ‘lets see’, and ‘don’t know’. Shikha was to get married to Arun on 20th of this month. She was obviously sad, not for the reason that she was to leave her parents but because she was going to someone with whom she was not at all comfortable, her would-be husband. He can hardly talk, she cribbed always, she meant to be able to communicate, which was among the biggest turn offs for her. She had completely surrendered to her parents will, and couldnt dare to fight back. She made fun of her would-be whenever she spoke to me, may be that was just one of the ways to rejoice and relax. I dint mind it either, I laughed with her. Every single day she had something or the other to complain and yet she tried to get along, just for the sake of her parents. But today it was something different. She almost broke down when she told me that Arun earned only Rs. 8000 per month. Arun worked with some bank in the collections department. When the alliance was proposed all that Shikha and her parents knew was that the guy was 30, of same caste as theirs, and worked with some reputed bank. Though Shikha wasn’t with any MNC or big IT firm she earned quite well, better than Arun at least. Shikha felt disgusted and hated herself when she came to know of his income, that too just 7 days before the marriage. She hadn’t liked him anyways, about average looks depicting a middle-aged uncle, poor communication skills, boring types, and a dull person with some amount of male ego, of course. Shikha was bit plump, but pretty and presentable. Shikha had swallowed all her angst for her parents and the society that they cared for. She couldn't see a single point that could increase her affinity to Arun.
“He even wants me to quit my job after we have kids” she cried.
“How can he tell me that? Who is he to decide about my career? How does he thing he is going to feed 3 mouths with 8000 per month”, she angrily continued.
“Kids, aahhhhh. I am not even allowing him to come close to me” Shikha by now was at the peak of frustration and despair.
“Shikha relax” is all I could console her with. There was nothing else that I could think of at that hour.
As she continued crying and I stood there confused listening to her, I thought no Raja Ram Mohan Roy or Mahatma Phule had been successful in implementing women’s liberalization in our country. Equality for women is still a big issue in our society. We still have different set of rules for men and women. We talk of equal rights but we hardly ever practice it. Sati and purdah system have now been replaced by sexual harassment and molestation, women still continue to be exploited by our male dominated society. Our outlook to women hasn’t changed, the means of making them feel secondary or inferior have certainly changed though.
When I think of Shikha, I feel that a girl still does not have choice of what she wants to do. Parents, society just exploit Shikhas to core. She doesn’t even have a choice of with whom she wants to spend rest of her life. Why? Because she is growing old. How old? My God! She is 25 now, and still unmarried. We must pack her off very soon. To whom, does not matter, just get rid of her. As in Shikha’s case, the guy working with a reputed bank was itself enough. What is the profile, income, stability? Aahh! that our daughter and son-in-law will take care after they start their ghar sansar. Our responsibility was to get her married, now we are free and society is not going to point fingers at us any more or ask us things or call us names. Our job is done, is still the attitude of many parents, particularly those like Shikha’s. Moreover, forget asking if their daughter is really interested in that guy or ready for marriage yet, mummy and daddy have already spoken about marriage and fixed the dates as well. Shikha’s parents would be paying Arun and his parents some lacs of rupees in cash, huge amount of gold, and also bear marriage expenses. What a deal! Volumes of wealth for someone whom their daughter doesn’t like, hasn’t accepted, someone who at 30 earns a meager 8000 per month. What for? I really cannot fathom all this.
Society is happy, we are happy. We have tightly sealed the lips of society by getting our daughter married finally. Yes, everyone may be happy, but is your daughter happy, someone for whom you would have eagerly waited for nine months.
Ridiculous, a girl still can’t choose her happiness and the way she wants to lead her life and with whom she wants to do so. We merrily idolize Rani of Jhansi, Anandi Gopal Joshi, Begum Hazrat Mahal, Bikaji Cama, Vijaylakshmi Pandit, Aruna Asaf Ali, Indira Gandhi, Kiran Bedi, Kalpana Chawla, Pratibha Patil, Madhuri Dixit, and so on. But when it comes to our daughter, it’s a big NO, let her want to do what she wants to after getting married, and is still the motto of many parents. I do understand that they too may have their restrictions and aspirations but all this at the cost of their daughter is quite a nonsense. Even our Constitution has several articles clearly drafted on equality for women (Articles 14, 15(1), 16, 39(d), 15(3), 51(A) (e), 42), but we never really bother.
All my jumbled up and frustrated thoughts full of reformic ideas were interrupted by the sound of a fast moving train. Shikha is supposed to be at home at this hour and there is no railway track near her house. Then what was that noise. What was Shikha doing, where was she.
“He even wants me to quit my job after we have kids” she cried.
“How can he tell me that? Who is he to decide about my career? How does he thing he is going to feed 3 mouths with 8000 per month”, she angrily continued.
“Kids, aahhhhh. I am not even allowing him to come close to me” Shikha by now was at the peak of frustration and despair.
“Shikha relax” is all I could console her with. There was nothing else that I could think of at that hour.
As she continued crying and I stood there confused listening to her, I thought no Raja Ram Mohan Roy or Mahatma Phule had been successful in implementing women’s liberalization in our country. Equality for women is still a big issue in our society. We still have different set of rules for men and women. We talk of equal rights but we hardly ever practice it. Sati and purdah system have now been replaced by sexual harassment and molestation, women still continue to be exploited by our male dominated society. Our outlook to women hasn’t changed, the means of making them feel secondary or inferior have certainly changed though.
When I think of Shikha, I feel that a girl still does not have choice of what she wants to do. Parents, society just exploit Shikhas to core. She doesn’t even have a choice of with whom she wants to spend rest of her life. Why? Because she is growing old. How old? My God! She is 25 now, and still unmarried. We must pack her off very soon. To whom, does not matter, just get rid of her. As in Shikha’s case, the guy working with a reputed bank was itself enough. What is the profile, income, stability? Aahh! that our daughter and son-in-law will take care after they start their ghar sansar. Our responsibility was to get her married, now we are free and society is not going to point fingers at us any more or ask us things or call us names. Our job is done, is still the attitude of many parents, particularly those like Shikha’s. Moreover, forget asking if their daughter is really interested in that guy or ready for marriage yet, mummy and daddy have already spoken about marriage and fixed the dates as well. Shikha’s parents would be paying Arun and his parents some lacs of rupees in cash, huge amount of gold, and also bear marriage expenses. What a deal! Volumes of wealth for someone whom their daughter doesn’t like, hasn’t accepted, someone who at 30 earns a meager 8000 per month. What for? I really cannot fathom all this.
Society is happy, we are happy. We have tightly sealed the lips of society by getting our daughter married finally. Yes, everyone may be happy, but is your daughter happy, someone for whom you would have eagerly waited for nine months.
Ridiculous, a girl still can’t choose her happiness and the way she wants to lead her life and with whom she wants to do so. We merrily idolize Rani of Jhansi, Anandi Gopal Joshi, Begum Hazrat Mahal, Bikaji Cama, Vijaylakshmi Pandit, Aruna Asaf Ali, Indira Gandhi, Kiran Bedi, Kalpana Chawla, Pratibha Patil, Madhuri Dixit, and so on. But when it comes to our daughter, it’s a big NO, let her want to do what she wants to after getting married, and is still the motto of many parents. I do understand that they too may have their restrictions and aspirations but all this at the cost of their daughter is quite a nonsense. Even our Constitution has several articles clearly drafted on equality for women (Articles 14, 15(1), 16, 39(d), 15(3), 51(A) (e), 42), but we never really bother.
All my jumbled up and frustrated thoughts full of reformic ideas were interrupted by the sound of a fast moving train. Shikha is supposed to be at home at this hour and there is no railway track near her house. Then what was that noise. What was Shikha doing, where was she.
“Shikha, where are you? What are doing out at this hour”, I was worried.
“I am tired, I have left....”, she kept crying and disconnected the call.
(This is a work of fiction and has no resemblance to any of my relative or friend or acquaintance. I had to mention this now, as I was flooded with comments asking me about Shikha's well being. Shikha & Arun are fictional characters.)
Comments
Good one but the language is too strong.
By the way any news about Shikha?
Keep writing.
Well I would certainly like to mention that you have good writing skills, only if you could use it to convey proper things.
Thank you.
What I'm saying is these things are not considered good in our society irrespective of the sex of the person involved.