Andu & Bandu: Tale of Two Naughtys

All characters in this story may appear to be fictitious. 

Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead, or missing could be surprisingly coincidental.

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Virar station, 7pm, Andu (pronounced as UNDO) and Bandu (as BUNDO) were waiting for some other friends to arrive. They all were to go for a picnic near Arnala beach.

Amidst the entire crowd, a not-so-beautiful-but-fair girl passed by. Andu, a guy with short stature craned his neck to get her glimpse and then turned to Bandu to check if he saw his act. Bandu too, taking advantage of his height, had taken darshan of that beauty. And they both smiled, rather laughed at each other.

“Men will be men,” roared Bandu and they burst out into a thunderous laughter again. Andu and Bandu both are 30 something shaadi-shuda guys, not to each other ofcourse – happily married, not gay-ly.

Like the scene at the Virar station, there are many coincidences of them liking the same thing. Bandu joined some classes in XII, so did Andu. Bandu and Andu, both, even today, have same model of mobile phones – E71, same model of laptops – IBM R52, and had same model of their earlier mobile phones – Nokia 6630.

Let’s roll back to their college days and take a glimpse into some of their finest moments, there are many but we will restrict to just a few.

Andu and Bandu met at the junior college and since then went on to become fast friends, who have enjoyed joyous rides of life since their college days.

Nothing superficial about it. They are pakke friends to the extent that “wo jaan de bhi sakte hai and le bhi sakte hain – ek dusre ki”…errghhh.

Life at college continued and it was there, where the coincidences of their likeness took roots. They both fell for the same girl, whom they fondly called 442.

Andu was prompt in falling in love but was little introvert and mostly shied away from mixing with girls. He used to be content with his small group of friends. He mostly rejoiced with the thoughts that finally cupid has struck his heart.

Bandu, on the other hand, was usually hyper excited about things, outgoing, and the six footer frequently found presence and place among the then chick tarunis. He did lot of majja in college :-)

One day while walking back to Andheri station, he narrated to Andu how he would love to propose 442 and that he would go running after her bus (BEST route no. 442 and hence her name) just to have a glance at her. She indeed was so very beautiful, a Muslim girl, whose beauty radiated even from within the burkha, which she wore often to college.

They kept dreaming about her, admiring her, and making sure that they did not miss a single chance to gaze at that beauty. She was the topic of their discussion most of the times, no arguments or fights happened between them because of her, however.

This is not a love tale alone.

Days kept passing by, and Andu & Bandu were fully aware that they needed to take stake of their future and career as well. More than 442 and other figures around the college they also needed to worry about the figure on their mark sheet, they needed to excel the 442 mark and achieve at least 480 to get a respectable 80% in the HSC exams.

Having studied hard for the HSC exams, and then waiting for the results, Andu and Bandu sat together one day to decided on their next course of action – engineering?, B.Sc.?, Pharmacy? etc...

Among the most incidents that took place in Andu’s and Bandu’s life, here is the most hilarious one, probably the only one.

Amidst all the career options that Andu and Bandu were experimenting with, Bandu once came across a career in Navy; naah not the armed forces one. It was marine engineering. 

“They get lot of salary and other benefits, I have heard,” said Andu.

Well, at that time, career, passion where just few words whose depth they couldn’t fathom. ‘EARN MONEY, BE SUCCESSFUL’ was the only mantra, then no matter what you did.

Bandu used to visit Andu’s place frequently to play cricket. That evening, Bandu brought the newspaper cutting of that ‘Marine Engineering Ad’.

“Arey, tichya aila, ya sathi tar IIT-JEE dyavi lagnaar,” Andu burst out in a dismal cry when he read the eligibility criteria for getting into marine engineering. IIT entrance was the most dreaded exam considered at that time. They weren’t much aware of the CAT for IIMs.

“Let us do it, at least let us give it a try. Karna hai toh karna hai,” Bandu tried to instill some confidence in Andu.

“Yes, but it requires lot of study and studying in this vacation time again Damn!” Andu sighed.

“Salya…your papers were good, you are going to get good score, your engineering seat is pakka. What about me?” Bandu frowned on Andu.

“Oh, come on, I know how my papers were”

“You are a scholar. You always do well in exams”

“Gupp re. I don’t want to argue. We will get the forms tomorrow”

They got the form, completed it and submitted it.

“This is kind of strange. They want us to go on ship but want us to clear IIT-JEE”, Andu grinned at Bandu when they were returning from a library one day. They got some books to study.

Studies began for GREAT IIT-JEE, all for just to be on the ship for 6 months long, hopefully. 2 months of study to appear for that Herculean entrance exam, Andu and Bandu were all set to embarrass the clan who was studying hard for IIT since 2 years or even more. They were not sure that they had in them, but some sort of confidence was certainly there.

   

They struggled a lot understanding the dynamics of the entrance exam and trying to getting used to the question paper patterns, answering tricky questions, laws of intelligent guessing, and parroting formulae.

Finally, the day arrived when they were to make the GRAND entry into the examination hall. Their center was in Malad. Andu and Bandu had exam seat numbers just one behind the other, as they had submitted the entrance exam forms simultaneously.

The competition was fierce. There was tremendous crowd outside the examination center. Andu and Bandu were aghast – ‘we have to excel so many of them…phew’. The scene almost looked like an ‘about-to-begin-stampede’.

Both young men, finally could locate the floor and room numbers, and bravely made their way to the ‘battlefield’ like classroom. As they stepped into the classroom, they could virtually hear blowing of the tutari, just like what Baji Prabhu must have heard when conquering some fort.

Like the great warriors, Tipu and Tughlaq, Andu and Bandu entered the examination hall with all the dreams that they must make it, as, if successful the life ahead could turn into a fortune.

“Aai Bhavani chya aashirwadane”, Andu and Bandu occupied their seats and their marathon to success began. The exam hall was packed. With sweating hands, trembling legs, and smiling faces, Andu and Bandu occupied their respective desk.

 

Two papers were scheduled on the first day, it was a Saturday. Screening test and Physics. The other papers (Physics, Chemistry, and Mathematics) were checked only if you cleared the screening test paper. Tired and excited, the warrior duo, walked out of the classroom, and headed straight to the washroom.

They took next immediate train back home. They wished each other “best of luck” for studies of next paper, winked at each other and left.

On reaching home, Andu's mother showered questions of curiosity on him, "How was it? How many question did you solve? Kashi hoti mag I-I-T".

Andu remained standing near the door silently and sighed, "Aai Aai Tea".

As agreed, Andu and Bandu met at Malad station and started walking towards their examination center. It was Sunday, the day of Mathematics and Chemistry.

“My Maama stays here in Malad. He has called us for lunch today,” Bandu said while resting his hand on Andu’s left shoulder.

“Arey but how. We will not find so much time,” Andu shrilled.

“See we have a break of 90 minutes between two papers, we can easily accommodate the lunch. And it’s better than spending money outside.”

Andu agreed. And indeed that time money was a major problem.

Bandu started singing some song while still walking towards the examination center, it was all extemporized; Bandu kept adding some words that came to his lips.

Mi gacchi var jaaun basaycho

Sobatila majhya, priya mitra Bandu

Baki mitra sagle, ground var jaayche

Amhi khelat gotya, viti dandu

Tey sagle chaukar, shatkaar hanayche

Mala hi havet, pandhre shubhra pad

S.G. chi bat, and laal season cha ball

Asa manatun khup khup vatayche

Punn kay karnar,

Kaaran, kharach tevha itke paise nasayche

Andu also made up some words and added another stanza to Bandu’s on-the-spot performance – such great was their friendship, easily readable minds.

Madhlya suttit sagle hotel madhe jaat

Apla matra tapri varach bhagaycha

Tyanche uttappa, dosa, juice che thaat

Batata sandwich var sollid pott bharaycha

Anna cha dosa, Baban cha vada, paar ved lavayche

Pun divsache fakt char ach rupaye milayche

Sandwich cha alach jar kantala kadhi

Tar change mhanun usachya rasa var bhagvayche

Punn kay karnar,

Kaaran, kharach tevha itke paise nasayche

And then they sang in chorus, each adding one line at a time and reciting it together...

Sandhya kali ghari jatan tar jaam gochi

Kovlya vayat local la itki gardi pahun

Paar oli houn jaychi chaddi

Train mage train sodun, mi titech tasan taas

Laal patya vale dabbe rikami asayche

Hirvya patte valyat chadlo, tar “utar bhadvya”

Ase sagle lok oradayche, mag kay

Ghari pochayla, local chya bari var lombkalayche

Kay karnar,

Kaaran, kharach tevha itke paise nasayche

College madhye asa khup vataycha

Dyava tila, ek chaan sa laal gulab

Ani Rose day chya divshi pahava

Tila ghetana Rose Queen cha khitaab

Pun titkyat Andheri station yaycha

‘Chal ata vedya’ asa mhanun

Majhach mann majhya var hasayche

Gulab kay, pakli tari de, ase chidvayche

Tey pun kharach ahey mhana,

Kaaran, kharach tevha itke paise nasayche

They kept singing their ‘just-baked’ song till they reached their center.

Mathematics paper was over. They both walked out grinning and smiling at each other. Their 2 months of study was put through a thorough test. Today wasn’t any different than the yesterday.

Andu and Bandu walked down to Bandu’s Maama’s place. The house was filled with fresh aroma of delicious Marathi pakkvaane. They both guzzled down 2 glasses of water each. The examination was in the month of May, the scorching summer of Mumbai had dehydrated two teenagers.

As they had to hurry back to the center for their next paper, food was served immediately. They sat talking about the future prospects, career options with the family over the lunch. The ‘swaadishtt jevan’ was amazingly mouthwatering and the best part was the ‘amrakhand’ – the mango season was just fresh.

   

With heavily packed tummies, Andu and Bandu set their journey back to the center. Andu was already drowsy as if he had bottomed down gallons of beer. Andu was used to sleeping for 2-3 hours in the afternoon and it was very much impossible for him to keep his eyes wide open. He walked down the street as if almost asleep. Thanks to Bandu, that he was there to maneuver Andu safely to the examination center.

Answer sheets were distributed. Then came the ‘Chemistry’ question paper. And ‘Oh My God’, there was not a single thing Andu or Bandu could understand in that paper except the instructions on the topic and the paper details. They questioned their parents and God about bring them to earth - for this torturous day? The questions were all full of ‘O’, ‘C’, and ‘H’ with single or double lines connecting the alphabets forming structures like hexagons, squares, rectangles, circles, and alike.

Bandu looked at Andu, Andu looked at the invigilator, and invigilator looked at the watch and other examinees. Bandu nodded his head signaling to Andu that he was helpless. Andu conveyed the same to Bandu.

Bandu sat on the bench with his hands folded, while Andu cupped his face into his palms gazing at the question paper. Such was their state – fearless but pitiable; not that they self pitied or were sympathetic to each other.

   

Andu copied all the questions 'as-is' in the answer sheet, just maybe to shirk that embarrassment of handing over a blank answer sheet to the invigilator.

Instructions made it mandatory for them to sit in the exam hall at least for 45 minutes. They both waited for the clock to tick the 45th minute. Just about when it happened, Andu and Bandu jumped off from their desks, handed over the answer sheets and ran out of the exam hall. They came out with thunders of laughter and miming each other’s state.

They reached home and enjoyed a game of cricket.

Life continued for days, as if IIT-JEE had never happened to Andu and Bandu, until one day, Bandu’s cousin, who also had appeared for IIT-JEE reminded them of the "results day". It was quite obvious what the result was going to be like, for the answer sheets could have well been portrayed as antiques in the museums of the elite Indian Institute of Technology.

However, their heroics in the papers were long forgotten. And the great Tipu and Tughlaq were all set to march towards the prestigious IIT-Bombay to take a look at their fate. The bus ride in 398 Ltd. through the lush green Aarey Colony was refreshing and joyous.

Evidently, Andu and Bandu did not figure in the results list, not even at the bottomest of the bottom. But their confidence was rock solid, they were least bothered the saying – “as you sow, so shall you reap” and they disagreed to believe that miracles only happened to aliens.

Despite knowing that there was no chance they could have passed, the duo took a deep look the list, and then wiggled out of the crowd, laughing thunderously as usual, proclaiming – ‘Nirlajjam sada sukhi’.

Just like once they had said for their beloved 442, ‘ye nahi toh koi aur sahi’, they shrugged a similar attitude at the IIT. They didn’t bother if the gates of IIT and that of the naval base were closed for them. It was all about attitude for them.

They marched ahead bravely, taking up whatever came their way. They decided to navigate on the walks of the life as presented to them and be patient. Andu & Bandu followed only one rule - success, fame, power, and money are the outputs of dedication, hardwork, and tenacity. They made this as a rule of their life.

While life gave them a lot of twists and turns, their ways parted, however, one thing that was always constant and rigid that they remained pakke dosts – and that was without doubt. With time their friendship only took deep roots, though frustrations of their unfulfilled fascinations did take some spurts.

They have busy lives today, excellent career paths, loving wife (respective of course), caring family (respective again), and their tenacity for pursue their passions – Andu with his writing and Bandu with his photography.

Just recently, some three great men had said, ‘Aaal Izzz Well’, and indeed it is with these two great men as well. They had said the same thing almost 15 years ago. They might have looked liked idiots, stupid, and dumb fellas standing at the gates of the IIT but in life today, they are proven ‘the damn jolly good fellas’.

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