Skip to main content

Self Help & All That

(Alert – this article contains contentious viewpoints with some harsh language; if this does not suit your taste, please refrain from reading further)

Recently, I received an email from a friend about some interesting article to read. However, it turned out to be a boring stuff. I hate reading self-help and motivational kind of pieces; everything that preaches – “think positive”, “say I am the best”, “how to vent anger”, “how to achieve your goals”, and so on in an over obsessed manner. I have never been able to understand the need and important of such self-help kind of writings.

The first form self-help or motivational writing that I read was “Who moved my cheese”. I read it as a story (like I read Coelho’s Alchemist) and it made no impact on my behaviour or thinking pattern. However, my disgust for writings of this genre began with Shiv Khera’s “You can win” and it continues till today for his “You can sell”.

Such books and writings claim to improve confidence, boost moral, change attitude towards life, and so on – all of which seem to be of utter nuisance to me. I believe, you cannot solve my problems unless you consider my problems as your problems. And this never happens. The so-called self-help gurus keep farting hollow clouds of gyan only to contaminate and confuse the poor reader. (A psychological study reveals that such kind of gyan usually has reverse effect on the person, towards negative side).

I had heard a lot about the book “Secret”. I bought a copy to see what it is all about. Crap – was all it was. It cites some examples about some men and women (who knows whether those personalities existed or not), and how they achieved what they wanted in life. I can summarise the entire book (and its various versions) into one simple word – “TENACITY”, which means persistent determination. Now that does not need a huge rocket science, be focused, work hard, and you will get it – just the way Einstein, Tendulkar, or even Abhijit Sawant did. I am sure none of them required any self-help book. I also do know some one who with just a degree in commerce is flying high with fleet of cars and row of houses – he certainly hasn’t read any such books.

Talk to a friend or listen to music when you are low, keep your desk clean so that you feel energetic while working, space out activities of your day, play some sport so that you remain fit and fresh – all these things are of common sense, I guess.

I dread Amway guys and those in similar clan of MLM who shove down such motivational books into other’s and think great of have achieved something. On the contrary, the reader then starts feeling inferior and works based on fear and not on inspiration.

These books somehow fail to preach that “Success is 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration”. What is use of just getting inspired by reading stories of other people – case studies used in such books? And then, there are contradictions too. Some books say follow success; grab it, it is yours; it is the most important thing. Few other books say that your goals are not everything in life, reminding you that it is not the only important thing in life – what the ****

Most often, the self-help techniques are misleading; it is like giving you a capsule on tooth ache when you actually have neck pain. Following such books is like practicing ignorance of your real-time decrepit condition; this is something illusionary and could be disastrous. Also, these self-help books and case studies therein, are utterly time wasting techniques, making you feel more fatigued.

The experts put lot of conditions, if this – then that; if success or comfort for you has to be conditional, how about you setting up some conditions for yourself. I learnt in school, “God helps them, those who help themselves” – a condition again – if I help myself only then will God help me. So from God to a human expert, all are conditional; then the best person that remains to help you is YOU yourself.

Running after such self-help books, articles, and techniques may not make you successful or rich. However, it will certainly make those fallacious experts wealthier. You will keep buying books, CDs. DVDs, attending seminars and increasing the net worth of those self-help gurus, thus fuelling the billion dollar self-help industry.

Comments

audreygeddes said…
I agree that we need to take the initiative and not treat self helps books as a fix-all solution. There's a new book out I really enjoyed called, "Streetwise Spirituality," which does promote taking action. My favorite part of the book is that the author asks readers to use their hard times to create better ones—not just rise above it all. Love that!
Anonymous said…
Not really able to understand what you are trying to say
Divya said…
The Secret never claimed that it is telling us something alien. Throughout the book, the author has maintained that we all have experienced "The power of the secret" at some time or the other, but we don't realise it. It's just that consciousness about it makes us more potent & aware.
The concept of the "universe" & all that is perhaps only an analogy.
I have seen it happening in my life as well (even before reading the book)...Whenever I have wanted something strongly, I hv got it through some way or the other ( & it includes all things negative & positive)..I very strongly believe in the basic concept of the book that we attract all things in our life, whether negative or positive..The book is only a medium to make you more self-aware of such things...It makes you more conscious of what you wish for!
I am not saying that all Self-Help books are worth the moolah..But some definitely are & "The Secret" scores high on my ranking of them...
Amol Redij said…
Hi Divya,

"I have seen it happening in my life as well (even before reading the book)...Whenever I have wanted something strongly, I hv got it through some way or the other"...

Good that you agreed to this yourself, and that is precisely the point I made. You got whatever you wanted without even reading the book; so why give undue importance to such books and their writers anyways.

What you have been practicing, in simple term means, "tenacity" or "persistance". Did anything changed in your life after reading that book? Nothing, I am sure; unless you have an influential mind and you have started presuming certain things.

If you know what you want, and determined to get what you want, then no one or nothing can make you go otherwise.

As long as your focus on something remains undeterred, there is no need or reading such books.

Cheers,
Amol
SoulFren said…
Well Talking to a friend or listening to music when you are low, keeping your desk attractive so that you feel energetic while working, spacing out activities for yourself, playing some sport so that you remain fit and fresh – all these things are of common sense. Is it really a matter of common sense? Then it is commonly lacking in us. How many of do these things.? I am sure Sachin Tendulkar, Einstein might have never turned a page of self help books..They are self inspired. But are you and me like them? How much self inspired are we? How much positivity flows inside us? Then why is it when people are depressed are confused t they walk in direction of a bar for a drink? Then why is it that they have not done great Why is it they are still struggling deep inside for that peace. I am not saying follow every book you read. There are some which might truly inspire you and it is you who wake up determined to change things around you.


I have nothing else to say. Everyone has the right to express their opinions, likes and dislikes. But one need to understand this, simply because you find something totally worthless it does not mean it is.

Popular posts from this blog

Down The Memory Lane - The Times of DD

The weekend was bad, rather not so good; my back ache had buckled me to the bed, not allowing me to stay in one position for more than 4-5 minutes. I was surfing through the television channels lying on bed, and soon I noticed that I was doing nothing but going from 0 to 54 (that is the only number of channels I have on my television) and then again 0 to 54, and then again and again. I was tired watching that Indo-Pak terror debate, reality shows were irritating me, and I couldn’t handle any more breaking news with my broken back, neither was I interested in any kind of saas-bahu or the rona-dhona type of soaps, south Indian films dubbed in hindi were a big NO, I was in no mood for business news either, I had also had enough of Ghajini and Rab Ne trailors, songs, and reviews. I remember, only thing that possibly kept me glued to any particular channel was the advertisements – Limca (I love this ad for its jingle, the zing, and the babe, of course), Raymond, Bingo , few insurance ...

Andu & Bandu: Tale of Two Naughtys

All characters in this story may appear to be fictitious.  Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead, or missing could be surprisingly coincidental. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Virar station, 7pm, Andu (pronounced as UNDO) and Bandu (as BUNDO) were waiting for some other friends to arrive. They all were to go for a picnic near Arnala beach. Amidst the entire crowd, a not-so-beautiful-but-fair girl passed by. Andu, a guy with short stature craned his neck to get her glimpse and then turned to Bandu to check if he saw his act. Bandu too, taking advantage of his height, had taken darshan of that beauty. And they both smiled, rather laughed at each other. “Men will be men,” roared Bandu and they burst out into a thunderous laughter again. Andu and Bandu both are 30 something shaadi-shuda guys, not to each other ofcourse – happily married, not gay-ly . Like the scene at the Virar station, there are many coincidences of them liking th...

Existing In Chaos

50 days! I have been spinning in hectic schedules of work and a strenuous life of intermediate intensity. I have had hardly anytime to catch up with the news, especially at this time when elections are just around the corner. During all these frenzied days of my work life, I have terribly missed Karan (Thapar), Rajdeep, Arnab, and Udayan & Mitali (Mukherjees), of course. Yes, I did catch up with the Oscar ceremony and the hyped Slumdog jazz though. I am exhausted now. I tried to squeeze in some time yesterday to go through the recent political news (I wasn’t interested in what is happening to Kasab or was eager to know about India’s heroic cricketing triumphs). I pulled out some news archives from various websites, newspapers, and did watch news channels for whole three hours yesterday. I liked the oath taking Lead India 09 campaign, I liked Aamir’s representation to think better for this country in one another Lead India campaign, I loved the awareness and initiatives that Jaago...